@shkeeber: I'm sorry I burned down your house, but the Mythbusters told me not to try it at home and you should really lock your doors when you go out.
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@JaneBadall: Online relationships - For when you want to be disappointed by imaginary people, too.
@Dawn_M_: The best thing about hand sanitiser is that when you put it on, it looks like you are plotting to take over the world.
@CherBear162: I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.