@Tmoney68: I'm sorry, I don't have the energy to walk a mile in your shoes. I'm just going to go ahead & judge you.
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@dhumann: Flight Attendant: "Here is the extra blanket you asked for." Me: "Thanks. Could you jam it into that guy's mouth?"
@1InTheStinker: The cops came to my house claiming my dog chased someone down on a bike! I explained to the idiots that my dog doesn't own a bike.