@Tmoney68: I'm sorry, I don't have the energy to walk a mile in your shoes. I'm just going to go ahead & judge you.
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@uncle_fescue: I just saw my ex get hit by a snow plow but in all fairness I have never driven one of these before.
@XplodingUnicorn: How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout “Heroes in a half shell.” 3) When a girl yells back “Turtle Power,” marry her.
@PaulyPeligroso: My mind's telling me "No!" But my body, my body's telling me "There's that chicken salad in the fridge."
@gingerfaced: I'm obsessed with you. Not like peak through your window obsesseHEY I LIKE THAT DRESS WEAR THAT ONE