@spacej_me: I'm sorry I got salsa on your baby and I'm extra sorry I scraped it off with a chip
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@KenJennings: Oh I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood. This is a Ferrets wheel. When your compartment is 90 feet in the air, we release the ferrets.
@thomaswhitehead: London is like the best era of Batman at the moment. Well-orchestrated mild commuter panic and Prince stalking the streets.
@JediGigi: Me: You're such a good boy. Dog: *tail wagging* Please leave the room so I can eat the couch.
@Brampersandon_: Hey where's Brian? "Oh he's taking a p_ _p" A what? "Um dropping a d_ _c_" Huh? "Taking a sh_t....Uhh Cr_p!" Oh! He's evacuating his vowels?