@ShaeAaron: "I'm sorry. I haven't had sex for a very long time." -- and other things I say during the meeting to excuse my bad behavior.
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@john_vavra: WOMAN: pls help, theres a man outside terrorizing me 911: haha aww that just means he likes you MURDERER (at window): HEY SHUT UP I DO NOT
@SouthernStylin1: A smart woman knows when to give up and walk away A southern woman has a shotgun and a shovel named give up and walk away
@KateWhineHall: Me: This is DISGUSTING! WHO PEED ON THE WALL?! 7yo: Not me. I only pee on the floor.
@wilw: Cat: LET ME OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW! Me: *Staggers out of bed. Opens door* Cat: *lies down on doormat*: You are dismissed.