@RdrJay47: I'm sorry I hosed off your toddler as he walked by my house but I can't afford to get sick right now.
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@librarianfonz: I hope when the Incredible Hulk and Kool-Aid Man retire they'll open up a small demolition business together.
@amazymay72x: Once again, overheard my 13yo tell someone that I was born in the 1900s. Now I want to hide under the covers and stab all her teddy bears.
@Home_Halfway: Whenever anyone asks me where I grew up I point to a random spot in the room and say "Over there."