@ddsmidt: I'm sorry. I know I said hi, but I wasn't really prepared for any follow-up conversation.
@jwoodham: Find a way to dress up as "accidentally liking someone's Facebook picture from 2 years ago" and really scare people this Halloween.
@1evilidiot: Which side of the plate does the phone go on?
@ericsshadow: [wife checking on me and the kids]
"I called the house, you didn't answer."
I went out.
"Ok. Well how have they been?"
How's who been?
@SortaBad: You say tomato. I say tomato. Our eyes meet. We've decided on the perfect name for our baby
@kwirkyKerri: Relationship status: I get the remote to myself!