@imdaintyaf: I'm sorry I punched you in the face when you said "I love you". Intimacy scares me. And you said it to my sister.
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@GrantTanaka: January 1: GONNA WORK OUT EVERYDAY January 2: [works out] Jan 3: [kind of works out] Jan 4: [too busy to work out] Jan 5: VANITY IS BULLSHIT
@IamEnidColeslaw: the worst part of senior prom was definitely dropping my date and my grandfather's ashes going EVERYWHERE
@JD_KC: The lady helping my wife design a dining room table handed me a note reading "blink if you're being held against your will"