@THEDUTHCHESS: I'm sorry I put a collar on your baby. I thought it was a Pug.
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@truegritrumble: HER:He doesn't trust me. THERAPIST:How so? HER:He's always spying on me. ME (dressed as Therapist):Really? THERAPIST:WTF HER:WTF ME:WTF
@pinupteacher: I walk into the main office of a new school: Secretary: You a sub? *cheeks blush* Me: Who have you been talking to?
@AaronMichael_: Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.