@RdrJay47: I'm sorry I said the Nazis were also a party when you invited me to celebrate your kid's first birthday.
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@woodmuffin: "For my next illusion" the magician announces: "Free will!" Everyone starts clapping but they don't know why
@MomofTeen: Interviewer: What makes you unique? Me: I'm loyal to a fault, don't gossip, & work hard. I: Yeah, so, you're not really going to fit in.
@Ideal_Victoria: If anyone is living vicariously through me, you just bought yourself Flintstones chewable vitamins.