@jctwritesstuff: I'm sorry I said your baby looks like a hairless hamster. But in my defense, you shouldn't have had a hairless hamster for a baby.
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@JohnASinclair: I'm gonna have a secret lair that consists of toilets and sinks. It'll be called "John Sinclair's john and sink lair"
@Michael1979: Days after my plane crashed, I find a phone. Thankfully, it has enough battery for me to go online & argue with strangers. I remain stranded
@Parkerlawyer: I’ve reached the point in my marriage that my husband fell asleep on the couch and OMG I AM SO EXCITED I GET THE BED ALL TO MYSELF