@Feenohmenal: I'm sorry I snort-laughed when you were saying your vows.
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@SondraDeeMe: [in bed] BF: Why are you scared? ME: Cuz your Mom's here BF: She's not bad *Mom hands me pregnancy test* This better be positive by sunrise
@BlindChow: Dad: Son do u know why we named you Titanic Hitting an Iceberg? Titanic Hitting an Iceberg: Because I w– Dad: BECAUSE YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT
@KevinFarzad: Grand Theft Auto reminds me of Florida. Except one lets you shoot people without consequence and the other is a video game.