@IamEveryDayPpl: I'm sorry I whispered "a weem a way" over and over during your jungle safari slide show...
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mdob11: Me: [crying so hard I can't breathe] why Waiter: [returning my plate] sorry, I thought you were done
@NakedHangover: If it's true that spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, why have I never seen a spider crawl away screaming like a little girl?
@abhorrent_wife: Hi, I'm Megan. You may know me from such public encounters with kids as "No, YOUR face is stupid" and "I didn't trip you, you fell".
@bobbiejo448: 5yo: I can't wear those socks today. They say Wednesday. Me: If anyone notices, tell them you're here from the future to save the world.