@KyleMcDowell86: Im sorry I yelled "GARY LIKED STAR WARS EPISODE ONE" when the pastor asked if anyone knew of a reason why you and Gary shouldn't be married
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@TampaBayMomma: My ex left me for an attorney. It makes me smile every day to know he hasn't won an arguement for 15 years.
@BrettDruck: Me: omg look how bad they messed up my name at Starbucks, this isn't even close lupita nyong'o: that's my coffee
@lemonmartinis: How to tie the strongest knot ever: 1) put some earbuds in your pocket 2) wait one minute