@Laser_Cat: I'm sorry Mr. Simmons. I really enjoy babysitting little Timmy, but I'm only 14. I need real money, not bitcoin.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: The families in Eggo commercials live in nice houses and appear wealthy. Why are they always fighting over one shitty frozen waffle?
@kennyflorian: Can't trust CNN? Next thing ya know Nigerian royalty sending me emails will be fake.
@trojansauce: [after raking leaves into a pile on my lawn] ME: ah, perfect. these leaves are all tidy and there is nothing that can change this