@TheMichaelRock: I'm sorry my dollar isn't straight enough for you, homophobic vending machine.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@confusedlush: People who try to prepare for the end of the world are obviously misunderstanding the core concept.
@dance_blessed: Dear car commercials, You probably don't mean to scare me but "German engineering" is also why I don't have so many cousins today.
@LindaInDisguise: I just referred to tongs as 'food tweezers' in case you want to be in awe of my command of the English language.
@mynameshank: Super productive day, I took down all of my neighbor's outdoor Christmas decorations.