@therepoguy: I'm sorry this birthday cake suffered a severe accident where my hand fell into it and a chunk of it filled my mouth.
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@Kyle_Lippert: Her: What are your desires? Me: My desires are..[imagines having a talking Pug named Maurice that I watch Netflix with]...Unconventional.
@JasonLastname: Sees friend from highschool. Gives friend a big hug. Refuses to let go of friend. Becomes siamese friends.
@WritePlay: *1st date* "Nothing's sexier than a man who can surprise me & make me laugh" *cut to me in her closet in a clown suit* "Hellooo soulmate"
@Ygrene: Person: trust me, I know a thing or two Me: (untrustingly) that's really not an impressive number of things to know