@ElleOhHell: I'm sorry, this suitcase is overweight. You're gonna have to take some stuff out and put it in a different bag so the plane doesn't crash.
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@justabloodygame: Only as the condor bore me & my guitar away in its talons did I realize the crowd's cries of "Free Bird!" were not a request, but a warning.
@brynnester: [Conference Call] “After the tone please say your name” *Tone* Me: *nervous* Your name
@4Anno: I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I'm making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.