@ElleOhHell: I'm sorry, this suitcase is overweight. You're gonna have to take some stuff out and put it in a different bag so the plane doesn't crash.
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@WoodyLuvsCoffee: 16 yr old nephew bought me a Miley Cyrus CD. He said "Listen to it, it'll change your mind. It did change my mind. I used to like my nephew.
@stephenjmolloy: [Interrogation room] Good cop: "Confess and we will go easy on you" Sweet tooth cop: "You bes- *hears music* -ICE CREAM MAN!" *runs outside*
@UncleDuke1969: [loud bar] Her: I have to urinate Me: What? H: Urinate M: What? H: URINATE! M: Well, YOU'RE a 10! H: Huh? No! You're like a 5. I gotta pee.