@DjKC_117: I'm sorry, we can't hire you. But your background check was hilarious.
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@WheelTod: Distraught after losing a full carton of milk, I tattooed its photo on my kid's face, in hope someone recognizes and returns it.
@Token_Geezer: I'm doing the vacuuming.. It doesn't need doing but it's a legitimate way of annoying the kids
@AnAverageGiant: Today I had a mild panic attack over the fact I will die someday. Then I bought some shit on Amazon. Your mom is a hermaphrodite.