@jackmackenroth: I'm sorry we fought. I hate it when you're wrong.
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@VanGobot: *bank robbery* ROBBER: nobody moves, nobody gets hurt! ME: *gazing tearfully at a pic of my long distance gf* too late
@JasonLastname: If you rub two sticks together fast enough, you'll eventually start a widespread panic on the subway.
@13spencer: Everybody is a kid of some decade, but "90's kids" are the only ones who are annoying about it.
@ericsshadow: "To prove how much I love you I'm going to eat this entire pizza." That's not what I - "Please stop. Let me do this."