@cuntrystronggal: I'm sorry you got offended that one time you were treated the same way you treat everyone all the time.
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@FeralCrone: I said I was mad at myself. My 4yo son looked at me. "There are fancier words for mad," he said, fixing my hair. "You should say irritated."
@UrbanDouchebag: I'm going to hire a Priest, a Doctor and a Rabbi to walk into a bar together just to see WTF happens. Backup Plan: I'll also bring a horse.
@kendracomedy: Whenever the Starbucks guy asks for my name I laugh and whisper "I'm seeing someone"
@moneybreton: Top Fears 1.Walking on manholes 2.Driving, hit a deer, windshield breaks, deer caught and frantically bucks me to death 3.Christopher Walken