@Jandalize: I'm sorry your wife touches the elf on the shelf more than you.
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@NoBadHairDays2: A friend asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. My response: Oh, about 20 minutes.
@ericsshadow: *orders pepperoni pizza* Her: you need to start taking better care of yourself. *calls back, adds mushrooms*
@TravLeBlanc: When the zombie apocalypse comes, we'll be the last to go because we never leave our houses.
@roxiqt: According to legend, if you see a spider on Halloween, it's actually the spirit of a loved one watching over you. So I guess if you see a ghost on Halloween, it's actually a spider. Confusing but good information to have on hand.