@Jandalize: I'm sorry your wife touches the elf on the shelf more than you.
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@SCbchbum: I blame movies for giving me unrealistic expectations about how long I can look away from the road while driving.
@MouthOfSass: While I appreciate your enthusiasm, auto flush toilet, I kinda wanted to see that.
@alldrolledup: A Post-It note on every wine bottle at home that just says DON'T CUT YOUR HAIR AGAIN THAT WAS BAD