@TheWriteStuff2u: I'm speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I'm going.
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@myles_morrison: Kids having the best time ever sound exactly the same as kids being axe-murdered.
@POTerritory: Strange how FB doesn't automatically add the enemies of your enemies as your friends,
@JennyJohnsonHi5: This woman got so offended when I asked if I could pet her son, like I'm the one who put him on a leash.
@CrystalTheRed: Laundry Day Me: Tell me about this lipstick on your shirt. Him: Babe, I can explain! Me: Don't care. Just ask her the brand and shade name.