@Sarcasticsapien: I'm starting a sarcasm club. It would mean the world to me if you joined.
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@SoVeryBritish: Neighbour chat: “Alright?” “Not bad, thanks, you?” “Yeah not bad!” “Haha, see you later!” Then into the safety of your car, to wonder why you laughed so much for no reason
@LoveNLunchmeat: Parenthood is where you spend 18 years saying no all because of that one critical time you said yes.
@StevieKnip: lawyer talking under his breath: "guiltypeoplesaywhat?" suspect: what? lawyer: no further questions your honor