@JohnLyonTweets: I’m starting to suspect the Christmas tradition of the kids cleaning the house for Santa while the parents nap is just something my parents made up.
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@FrizerkaSandra: There is nothing in the world that lowers your IQ faster than trying to use someone else's coffee machine.
@notalogin: If you see a kid who's physically unusual somehow, be sure to mention it to the parents. Odds are, they've never noticed and will thank you.
@WilliamAder: Neighbors across the street have their Christmas lights up, so I invited them to my Easter Egg hunt this afternoon.
@OrangeFact: Sometimes I'll order things online & pay for handling but not shipping. I don't want the product; I just want them to move it around a bit.