@Ophelia_808: I'm starting to think the guy offering to check for lumps inside his van was not as legit as his cardboard certificate claimed.
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@BeardedSteel: Cat: Lame. Just lame. Me: Shut up. Not everyone goes out Friday nights u know. Cat: Leave extra food out. Im bringing a girl home. Me: ...ok
@thewordy: boys love mysterious girls so don't be afraid to show up to dates with a shovel and a smear of fresh blood on your collar