@Dani_Feld: I'm starting to think the Hangover Fairy and the Angel of Death are the same person.
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@missekay: People that say a watched pot never boils clearly don't understand the second law of thermodynamics or are blind.
@MrSpoonicorn: there there son *crouches down & wipes his tears* its ok, dont go crying over spilt mil-- YOU GOT IT ON THE XBOX!? no NO. call 911. CALL 911
@Vice_Queen: Boss: You're late! M: It's 6.30am B: You start at 6am! M: I know but that's just crazy. This is better for me. And now we wait for HR.
@wendchymes: Fight club but just dueling neighbor's aggressively leaf blowing leaves onto each other's lawns.