@StinkyGr33n: I'm still angry about those Oreo Thins. I'm here waiting for TripleStuf and QuadrupleStuf and they're all "we went the other way with it."
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@DadBeard: By the time my father was my age he had amassed, like, 30 coffee cans full of screws. I have none. What have I done with my life?
@PinkCamoTO: *out for dinner with friends* Me: I'm going to need 5 desserts and 1 spoon. Waiter: Don't you mean 1 dessert and 5 spoons? Me: You heard me.
@J0hnnyBlaze: "Omg, I literally just died" -people who literally don't know what literally means
@DirtMcTurd: My girlfriend says she's my best friend but she got so mad when I called her a homo and threw a snowball at her face. Women are so confusing