@donni: "I'm still at the airport, actually." -A woman next to me on the train just now
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@miffedmim: Ghost: never eats, never sleeps, moans a lot Vampire: sucks the life out of u Werewolf: human w/ fits of howling Child: all of the above
@thenoahkinsey: If you didn't wanna hear "Baby smell is biology preventing the mom from eating it," you shouldn't have invited me to the baby shower, Carol!
@ATXBOSS: Everyone suffering from diseases and natural disasters: hang in there, we're liking Facebook posts as fast as we can