@donni: "I'm still at the airport, actually." -A woman next to me on the train just now
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@iamk1ts: Men: The Only creature blessed with the superpowers to make Any machine a smoke machine in kitchen especially when his wife isn't home.
@prozdkp: Mitt Romney dissing Trump is like when an anime villain from the previous arc teams up to help stop the new billion times more evil villain
@Huber138: Me: Would you like to be a model? Her: yes Me: are you comfortable with nudity? Her: Sure Me:
@ericsshadow: NASA: you've been selected to spend a year on the space station ME: wow that's awesome NASA: you and your entire family! ME: oh ok no thanks