@YoungNobler: I'm still disappointed that Penguin and Random House merged to become Penguin Random House and not the more hilarious Random Penguin House.
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@meganamram: Idea: "Celebrity Price Is Right" where Gwyneth Paltrow guesses that loaves of bread cost $460
@david8hughes: [looks over neighbour's fence while he's in the pool] "Dude, we get it. You can hold your breath for [looks at watch] 19 days."
@ElizaBayne: You're not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU'RE RICH
@kelkulus: I like how Subway sells "healthy footlong" sandwiches, as if anything is healthy when you're eating it by the foot.