@theleanover: I'm still not convinced Mitt Romney was born.
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@ComedicBust: When my wife dressed up as Catwoman, I didn't know it'd mean she'd quit her job, sleep 23 hrs a day and spend the other hour licking herself
@jonnysun: if somone acidentaly walks in while ur in the bathroom, do not react at all. this avoids embarasment & makes them wonder if they are a ghost
@QwertyJones3: [group therapy] "I always feel unnoticed" NINJA: I hear ya CHAMELEON: Same GUY WITH CAMOUFLAGE PANTS: It's like we're all soulmates
@RapeyRaperton: When a man tries to hug me hello or goodbye I whisper in his ear "tip to tip" and sigh as we embrace to ensure we never do it again.