@Epygma: Im still waiting for a movie in which someone says "buy me some time" and the guy goes and buys him a clock
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@KyleMcDowell86: [Old lady] Please dont pet my dog. She's a service dog [Me] Omg I'm so sorry (stands up straight & salutes dog) Thank you for your service
@noog: The biggest threat to mankind is aliens somehow receiving transmissions of Xbox Live conversations and deciding to just blow up the planet.
@slimmy_shady: Hot girls who complain that you can't get laid... do you live on a deserted island?