@robfee: "I'm still years behind on Breaking Bad so I expect the entire internet not to discuss it until it's convenient for me." - Idiots
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@abbycohenwl: Me: Why am I suddenly sick? Friend: Probably the change in the Weather [earlier] Weather: *uncharacteristically puts poison in my coffee*
@djdarrellripley: I have a strict policy against dating coworkers... Well, not so much a policy as a loosely enforced suggestion, at the request of my lawyer.
@Phook75: Considering we've produced Miley Cyrus and Kanye West, I'm more surprised other countries haven't built a wall around the U.S.
@ceejoyner: For a quiet ride, buckle the empty seatbelt beside a child and tell them not to wake up the ghost.