@TylerLinkin: I’m stoned. Either the smoke alarm is beeping or the house is backing up.
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@LnL245: Ha, I told my brother that carbon had seven protons and he believed me. He was mean to me when we were kids.
@kumailn: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa" - the soundtrack to every Middle Eastern scene in every Hollywood movie.
@TheMichaelRock: I always bring in a dozen donuts to work the first day after the New Year, just for my coworkers on a diet.
@MTV2GuyCodes: Oh, some guy screwed you over? Would you like to explain how the whole male population is responsible for this?