@kcMcCowgirl: I'm straight but not "get my alibi" straight.
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@amjustspencer: Me: will I find true love? Ouji Board: A R E Y O U H U N G R Y Me: dammit grandma not now
@JimmerThatisAll: People who say "in and of itself" are responsible for most of the trouble in the world.
@GingerHotDish: [Me as a Sunday school teacher] ...then on the third day Odin went to Valhalla so that warriors who died in battle would have eternal life.
@AlexRogaski: [Me as 911 Operator] *phone rings* I wait for it to stop ringing and text back "what's up"