@kcMcCowgirl: I'm straight but not "get my alibi" straight.
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@DumbConfessions: [in Paris] Will you have sex with me? "No monsieur." Okay, like, I don't speak French. BLINK ONCE FOR NO AND TWICE FOR YES.
@IAmKatieOrr: HELLO? HELP! I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED & DROPPED IN A NON-ENGLISH-SPEAKING COUNTRY & I DON'T KNOW- wait. Nm. Fell asleep at Szechuan Palace again.
@ThaJawn: *googles murder tips *adds "asking for a friend" at the end of each search They won't be able to prove a thing! *evil cackles