@NikiWithIssues: I'm super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape.
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@carlyken: Anne Boleyn: My love, I wait for but one word from you Henry VIII: New phone who dis Anne: Your wife Henry VIII: Lol which one
@noog: [5 year old tugs on pant leg] Daddy if time stops at the speed of light then photons aren't actually moving, so is everything we see a lie?
@jenniferfralic: The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not have brains is great news for stupid people.