@NikiWithIssues: I'm super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape.
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@WilliamAder: Whenever someone jokingly replies, "Blocked," I laugh and laugh and then go check.
@Tmoney68: Kid: Dad, what does ironic mean? Dad: Well son, when 2 people decide to get married on Independence Day.....
@WheelTod: Today I finally told my kids that St Patrick isn't real, and it's been me putting the snakes under their pillows all these years.