@NickMotown: I'm sure there'll be some making distasteful jokes about Williams' death. How annoying for them that he would have thought of funnier ones.
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@gm_cage: I bought theater food once. Long story short my son will no longer be going to college..
@amydillon: 85% of conversations with my mom is trying to figure out who the "she" in her story is.
@Alex_LaVallee: Cop: license and registration please. Me: (gives cop both) Cop: you drinking tonight? Me: no. Cop: you handed me 2 empty beer cans.
@Curly_gurl135: Just got every hair on my body waxed off except eyebrows and head. I look like a naked mole rat. Men, come & get me if you're into rodents.