@BruceForce: How to pick up a girl in a club: 1. Stare at her 2. Walk up to her 3. Shout stuff

@OBiiieeee: If you watch the Mighty Ducks backwards it's about a hockey team that starts sucking so bad that the coach leaves and becomes an alcoholic.

@thenoahkinsey: I shouldn't play with Legos? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.

@JosesLovesYou: So Nicolas Cage and John Travolta walk into a bar and the bartender says "hey, why the wrong face?"

@StatusInBeirut: In the future: "So Zionists tried to take a people's home and said god gave it to them." "So what happened?" "Apparently god disagreed."