@jackmackenroth: I'm taking my mother-in-law to the new Resident Evil movie because she's staying with me and I love subliminal messages.
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@GrumpyComments: Stormtrooper 1: You ever think that maybe we're with the bad guys? Stormtrooper 2: Nah, lets just head back to the Death St... to the ship.
@TrainedHedonist: We're out of duct tape, craft glue, and frozen orange juice because I made a sandwich while I was drunk last night.
@ceejoyner: PENSIVE MAN: the most terrifying enemy we face is the fear within PERSON WHO NARROWLY SURVIVED A GRIZZLY ATTACK: or a bear
@kimwilliamz: When somebody I blocked gets RT'd into my timeline it's like they're violating their restraining order.