@billcheek26: I'm taking my niece and nephew to the corn maze today. If I can't lose them there, I'll try the mall again.
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@Coastiefish: I was a pizza delivery guy once, but only for a day. They gave me 12 pizzas to deliver and I just never came back.
@seamussaid: help keep the English language alive by teaching your kids nearly outdated expressions Plus nothing beats a 5yo pointing & yelling "BEHOLD!"
@aveuaskew: My dad only says I love you on special occasions like birthdays, holidays, and competency hearings.
@NewDadNotes: Mugger: [pulls knife] gimme your wallet Me: You picked the WRONG DAY to rob me Pal. I get paid Fri at midnight you should try again then