@Jessdaisy: I'm "the cord popped out of the phone cause I tried to stretch it from the kitchen to my room" years old
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@ninjadinosaur1: The priest said that the demon really wants to leave, but I'm way too clingy, so the exorcism didn't work.
@HollyHeals: Dressing up as the grim reaper while at work in the ER is not amusing says HR. So uptight.
@chuuew: FARMER: can I help you, sir? ME: this ain't my first rodeo, buddy FARMER: [narrows eyes] ME: ok maybe it is [climbs off sheep]
@TheToddWilliams: GOOD COP: Three robberies in the same neighborhood ...do you know what I'm thinking? PSYCHIC COP: Yes GOOD COP: Oh right