@danchovy: I'm the dog whisperer. I'll whisper the word "dog" 20.. hell, 30 times if the price is right
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@WilliamAder: It's not a coincidence that so many blues songs start with "Woke up this morning..."
@4SLars: No, I always make this wincing face when I talk to people saying awful shit. It's not just you.
@KamaroPayne: My kids are gone for the WHOLE day. nnI miss them SO much, I can barely bring myself to pop this 3rd bottle of Champagne.
@david8hughes: [bank] I'd like to pay this into my account [empties pockets full of cat teeth] OMG I'm so sorry [takes card back] that's the wrong account