@danchovy: I'm the dog whisperer. I'll whisper the word "dog" 20.. hell, 30 times if the price is right
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@Fred_Delicious: [Describing guy who just mugged me to sketch artist] "He was literally kermit the frog"
@michaelianblack: Internet, just because I bought shoes from you once doesn't mean I'm going to do it again. You're coming across as desperate.
@The_Amazon_Eve: "Oh, you decided to close your bedroom door with me on the outside? Allow me to sing you the song of my people." -my cat
@JRehling: God talked to Jews like 500 times in the Old Testament, and not one warning about the Nazis.