@Phoebetate: I'm the girl who shows up at a Halloween party where everyone is dressed as something sexy and I'm dressed as a bean bag.
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@GibJimson: If you ever get drugged by someone and they steal an organ, just check Craigslist. That's probably where I'm selling it at.
@AcrimoniousClwn: Heard rumors that a coworker slept her way to a promotion. Damn, if the bosses only saw how much I sleep at my desk I'd own this place.
@BeardSpice: *walks into convenience store* "Excuse me, do you sell beef jerky" No sorry we only carry beef friendly *beef sticks start complimenting me*