@Phoebetate: I'm the girl who shows up at a Halloween party where everyone is dressed as something sexy and I'm dressed as a bean bag.
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@horselythighs: Elijah Wood and Toby Mcguire: whoever dies first gets played by the other in the biopic
@pleatedjeans: I never pay for drinks I just insult women at bars & when they throw drinks in my face I open my mouth haha thanks for the free booze ladies
@AndrewNadeau0: Once I tried to rescue this kitten stuck in a tree only it wasn’t a kitten it was an owl and he was, like…he was fine there.
@AbbyHasIssues: Me: I'll start laundry at 6:00. Also me: Well, it's 6:02, so it's too late to start laundry now.