@dshack8: I'm the guy in the meeting giving coworkers the throat slash motion when the boss says "Anybody have anything else 2 add before we adjourn?"
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@AllyBallyBeal: Getting a text message from your ex is like getting a message from Satan on an Ouija board.
@slyoung5: Good news: He told me I was his penguin. Bad news: Penguins only have sex once a year.
@AdamOfEarth: [Heart: Tell her her eyes are windows into eternity, filled with fire... Brain: Beacons, stars in a vast darkness] Mouth: HEY GREAT EYEBALLS