@rad_milk: im the guy responsible for throwing the chicken in the air for fried chicken commercials. i will never reveal my secret method's
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@Yankeegiant72: After I dislodged my head from the drywall, I had 2 thoughts: 1) Wow, this new Metallica song is really good and 2) I may need new drywall
@novicefather: My wife said her new addiction is goji berries but I'd prefer she get addicted to something cheaper like cocaine.
@tonsmorecowbell: Somewhere in Africa, a bunch of orphans are about to be running around in confederate flag shirts.
@justabloodygame: Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Give Jesus a fish, and you and your family will eat nothing but that one fish for a lifetime.