@rad_milk: im the guy responsible for throwing the chicken in the air for fried chicken commercials. i will never reveal my secret method's
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@pplwtching: Stuck in traffic? We have the solution for you... Call customer service so all your vulgarities aren’t wasted.
@krissywillbretz: Me: In high school I was voted most likely to cut my own bangs with safety scissors. Interviewer: I meant any professional achievements.
@DurtMcHurtt: Goal as a white guy 1)Pay taxes 2)Never say anything that may come across as racist 3)Find something clever to do with my arms when I dance.