@SlabBaconBP: Im the guy that says "Is he bothering you?" when some douche is hitting on you, just so I can hang around and bother you after he goes away.
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@Jinxy00: Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like BBs, rub one ball & everything moves.
@MrJeberling: Batman cuts off a seemingly innocuous driver in the Batmobile, only to deal with the driver later, with the help of Superman #ChangingBanes
@ByYourLogic: i'm every guy who says he's taking a twitter break for mental health reasons and then returns 6 hours later
@FO_ASchatz: I just pressed the Popcorn setting on my microwave and it showed me secret spy video of Kellyanne Conway eating lunch.
@Bob_Janke: Paris Hilton is worried ISIS will target her because she's famous. Paris Hilton doesn't realize that ISIS didn't exist in 2004.
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