@SlabBaconBP: Im the guy that says "Is he bothering you?" when some douche is hitting on you, just so I can hang around and bother you after he goes away.
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@Sassafrantz: He'd probably stop sending me "good morning, beautiful" texts if he saw how many chins pop out when I look down to read it.
@RdrJay47: [Calls number written on my windshield with lipstick] Hi, you left your number on my car. Who's going to clean this?
@marcgravell: 8yo: "I've put my tooth in my room but I'm not saying where - it is to see if the tooth fairy is real or not" - this shit just got real