@SlabBaconBP: Im the guy that says "Is he bothering you?" when some douche is hitting on you, just so I can hang around and bother you after he goes away.
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@ActingAnEejit: It's illegal to tie your children to things but you can basically do the same by buying them a phone with a short charger and a bad battery.
@Brampersandon_: GF (from 2nd floor window): either the trampoline goes or I go! ME: It ... was ... nice ... knowing ... you
@LindaInDisguise: Facebook is the biggest whistle-blower of them all, telling people I saw their messages.
@littlelady899: When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?