@SlabBaconBP: Im the guy that says "Is he bothering you?" when some douche is hitting on you, just so I can hang around and bother you after he goes away.
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@5hael: This idiot from Apple reckons that the "Temperature, iPhone needs to cool down" warning message has nothing to do with all my hot selfies
@ThoughtOtter: Me at a wine tasting: *swirls glass* *sniffs* *sips slowly* *stares off into the distance* ...Ah, yes. This is in fact wine.
@ojedge: [on a first date] "Have [gestures across the whole menu] whatever you want. I hear the McRib is particularly excellent this time of year."