@SlabBaconBP: Im the guy that says "Is he bothering you?" when some douche is hitting on you, just so I can hang around and bother you after he goes away.
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@david8hughes: [steps off crosstrainer] "Hey girl [out of breath, hands on knee] you like f-fitness? Cos I'm fitn--" "Shall I call an ambulance?" "Please."
@patrickmarkryan: If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and emailed me 3 days later asking if I have a job yet
@SvetySveta: Daughter made me a dish: Me, swallowing: Mmm, it's so delicious! And even smells like strawberries! Her: It's because of the shampoo.