@jferg1616: I'm the kind of guy who brings his phone charger to the party.
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@flashember: ME: I'm so happy, I could treat a horse! WIFE: *sighs* That's not a saying [spoon-feeding ice cream to horse] Don't listen to her Mr Butters
@SgtButtCheeks: I forget what I used to do with my arms before I got my iPhone. Did I hang them down by my side? Straight above my head? I really forget.
@laabruzzi: *bumpes into my ex on the street *dials a number Hello, Satan? Dude I thought we had an agreement?!