@jferg1616: I'm the kind of guy who brings his phone charger to the party.
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@courtneyno: The light above my desk is going out. I feel like I've been at a really boring rave for the last 7 hours.
@dlockw21: TSA: Sir, you can't bring that bottle of whiskey on the flight. Me: Um, this is my Service Whiskey. See his little vest? TSA: ....
@Sarcasmo718: My grandma keeps talking about her monthly checks, prescription drugs and how much she loves Miami. I think she's a rapper.
@BadJordon: Wearing my bathing suit as underwear in case a random pool party breaks out sounds way better than too lazy to do laundry.