I’m the most bashful person in the world, until you get me on the dance floor. Then I become the most bashful newborn giraffe in the world.

@InternetHippo: ME: Why can’t everyone just be nice EVERYONE: Why can’t you ME: Don’t change the subject

123

@fro_vo: *me looking in refrigerator* freezer: hey buddy my ice are up here

117

@ibid78: He died doing what he loved: checking to see if wolves are ticklish.

1

@david8hughes: Me: ugh. The radio these days is full of bad news. Burglary over there, stabbing over here. Just turn it off please Arresting officer: no

73

@Adam14: My wife's so square in bed she has cubic hair

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