@shariv67: I'm the most bashful person in the world, until you get me on the dance floor. Then I become the most bashful newborn giraffe in the world.
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@pmclellan: So my drug dealer just died. I'm thinking about going to his funeral to, you know, network.
@lil_dead_girl_: You don't realize how much you miss someone until they come back from the dead.
@Try2StopME: *Knock Knock* Me: Who is it? Police: Police. Me:What do u want? Police: To talk. Me: How many r u? Police: 2 Me: Talk to each other.
@briangaar: How about a superhero whose power is TAKING CARE OF HIS KIDS *high-fives Maury audience while Batman storms off*