@MadameSnippy: I'm the only stalker I know with OCD. After I break in to watch you sleep, I fold your laundry.
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@AnkCoupleTO: I tried hypnotizing my wife but *cluck* I think *cluck cluck* something went wrong is that *cluck cluck cluck* corn on the ground?
@SmartassChef: Nothing freaks me out like trying to remember which brownies I packed in my son's lunch box
@mikeleffingwell: STOP TELLING ME YOUR NEWBORN'S WEIGHT AND LENGTH I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THAT INFORMATION.
@jjhartinger: [happy hour with friends discussing politics] me: I'm going to keep my mouth shut. alcohol: wanna bet.