@philmann: I'm the opposite of a bee keeper. I lose bees all the time. I left a hive on the train today. Just accidentally threw a bee at a nun.
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@IanDouglasTerry: Dude yelled "Fight me like a man" at me, so I held him down and marginalized him for a thousand years.
@UrbanDouchebag: Sometimes it's nice to feel another body pressed up against your own, even if rigor mortis has already set it.
@chriscr10571: The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's been telling lies." I replied, "Well, tell him he's bloody good - I ain't got any kids!"
@vikkaroni: When I say ditto after someone tells me they love me, it doesn't mean I love them. It means I love me too.