@WheelTod: I'm the outdoorsy type. I hate being chained to a desk all day, but management say they have no choice until I stop biting my coworkers.
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@shutupmikeginn: A tall guy in movie theater just sat in front of me and he's on a date so he's going to have good posture the whole time this sucks
@MarfSalvador: Wildebeest: 5 cheetahs on the horizon sir Wildebeest Sergeant: How many men do we have? Wildebeest: 4,000 Wildebeest Sergeant: RETREAT!
@jus4golf: Me: What's for dinner? Her: Chinese. Me: I will make the Duck Sauce. *catches duck *fires up juicer
@SuperDadish: Conversations get real after midnight. 11:59 pm - "I love ramen noodles" 12:01am - "I feel like I can trust you. I killed a man once"