@WheelTod: I'm the outdoorsy type. I hate being chained to a desk all day, but management say they have no choice until I stop biting my coworkers.
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@jwoodham: Not all white people die in hot air balloon accidents, but only white people die in hot air balloon accidents.
@thatUPSdude: "Eating Clean" means not leaving a scrap behind on your plate right? Then yes, I "eat clean".
@KalvinMacleod: [speed dating] ME: I like your hair HER: OK ME: And your teeth are so smiley HER: You know this is a job interview, right? ME: *rings bell*