@WheelTod: I'm the outdoorsy type. I hate being chained to a desk all day, but management say they have no choice until I stop biting my coworkers.
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@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: Under special skills, you wrote you can be distant and vague? ME: *staring out the window* Idk, maybe.
@QwertyJones3: "Wearing horizontal stripes will make you look bigger and really stand out." Young Waldo: (whispering) Some day I'll prove you wrong.