@Douchekevin: I'm the perfect man if you don't factor in looks, depth of character, emotional availability, intelligence or financial well being.
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@ventivodkacran: You'd think these people on Grey's Anatomy would've already figured out that a major disaster is going to happen every year around May.
@Quartzjixler: "I didn't go to grad school to assemble agenda folios for the quarterly board meeting" I think as I drizzle Dawn into the CEO's coffee pot.
@madeleinedoux: [date at rooftop bar] give me ur hand "Is tha-are u wearing a squirrel tail?" *rips off jacket to reveal flying squirrel suit* do u trust me
@TedOfficialPage: What if animals were injured in the making of a film. would it say ''Tim hurt one monkey... he feels bad."