@Douchekevin: I'm the perfect man if you don't factor in looks, depth of character, emotional availability, intelligence or financial well being.
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@WheelTod: *First day as a spy Boss: Did you bug the Russian Embassy? Me:Oh yes. At Russian Embassy: "Boris, where did all these damn ants come from?"
@robwhisman: [swipes debit card] *would you like cash back?* yes [gazes at photo in wallet of steve jobs johnny cash & bob hope, whispers] yes i would
@TheCatWhisprer: Online shopping is all fun and games until you have to get up and get your credit card from the other room.